Hey, everybody! This is Becky. You haven’t really heard from me yet. I’ve mostly been poking around behind the scenes since I joined the team a few weeks ago. But today I’m popping out of lurker mode to tell you a story.
A while back Aleks, Amara, and Kris put out the word that they’d like some help with the site. I said, “I can do that!” and sent them an email. Everyone welcomed me aboard, and then I said, “oh, by the way, I won’t be available April 10-16, because I’m going out of town.” And everyone razzed me about immediately putting in for time off. :p
You see, I’m headed to the RT Booklovers Convention. As I started to get ready to go to the convention, buying tickets and booking hotel rooms and such, I thought, “maybe I could pass out some information about Embrace the Rainbow while I’m there.” So I ordered some business cards. And then I thought, “maybe I could talk a couple of authors into donating some books. Free books are good. Everybody likes free books. And then the people I give business cards to would be more likely to visit the site!”
So I sent an email to Marie Sexton. She wrote that book, Cinder, about the boy who is magically transformed into a girl so that he can dance with the handsome prince for just one night. Plus, she’s one of my favorite authors. To my surprise, Marie said, “Sure! Also, Heidi Cullinan and I have this really fun blog, Cup ‘o Porn. Would you like to come by and say a little something about Embrace the Rainbow?” Gulp. So I said, “uh, sure!” And I did. The post is scheduled to go up today.
Hello, Cup o’ Pornsters! Welcome!
Marie’s response was so friendly and positive that it gave me courage. So I contacted a couple more authors, and they said yes. And then I contacted a couple more authors. They said yes, too. And then… well, you get the idea. Suddenly this wasn’t quite such a little idea any more.
Y’all, as of this writing, 28 authors have donated a total of 36 books to this “little” giveaway I was planning. We have some seriously wonderful, generous authors in the m/m community. Every single one of you were friendly and supportive, and I thank you so, so much.
And the business cards I was planning to hand out this week? That’s expanded to magnets and other goodies, too. Anyone who’s reading this because I buttonholed you at RT, welcome to you, too!
Now, I’m going to give you the specifics of the giveaway. Entering is simple. Just reply to this post and tell us one thing you’ve learned from this site so far. (And please be sure to give us an email address. If we can’t contact you, we can’t tell you you won.)
I’ll start. The thing I’ve learned from this site is that Kris and Sean Kennedy are not the same person. Allegedly. (Just kidding you guys! Don’t hurt me.)
Seriously, one of the things I’ve learned from this site is that “chicks with dicks” is a rotten thing to say. I mean, I knew it was an insulting, hateful thing to say *to* someone, but I’d never connected the very real insult with the expression people sometimes use when talking about unbelievable (in their opinion) characters in books. I don’t think I’ve ever used the expression myself, but I’ve certainly seen it used and never said anything. From now on, I’ll say something.
So, that’s all you have to do. Take a look around and tell us one thing you’ve learned. Easy peasy! The comments will be closed to new entries at midnight EDT on April 18th, and a post naming the winners will go up the next day. And now, the list of prizes. (Go ahead and make yourself comfortable. Maybe grab a drink or something. This is going to take a while.) All but two of the prizes are ebooks. International folks are eligible for all prizes, including the paper books!
Dani Alexander- one copy of Shattered Glass
Vicktor Alexander- ebook bundle of all four Tate Pack books
Blaine D. Arden- one copy of The Forester and one copy of The Fifth Son
Ally Blue- one copy Love, Like Ghosts
Suzanne Brockmann- one signed hardcover of All Through the Night
Heidi Cullinan- winner’s choice of her backlist
Kim Dare- winner’s choice of her backlist
Megan Derr- winner’s choice of her backlist
Rhi Etzweiler- one copy of Dark Edge of Honor by Rhi Etzweiler and Aleksandr Voinov
Kari Gregg- winner’s choice of her backlist
Kaje Harper- one copy of The Rebuilding Year and a set of the Hidden Wolves books- Unacceptable Risk and Unexpected Demands
Lou Harper- one copy of Hanging Loose and one copy of Academic Pursuits
Katey Hawthorne- winner’s choice of her backlist
Lynn Lorenz- one copy of Tor
Carol Lynne- winner’s choice of her backlist
ZA Maxfield- winner’s choice of her backlist
JL Merrow- winner’s choice of her backlist or one copy of her upcoming book Hard Tail when it’s released May 8th
Josephine Myles- winner’s choice of her backlist
Jordan Castillo Price- winner’s choice of her backlist
Marie Sexton- winner’s choice of her backlist
KZ Snow- winner’s choice of her backlist
Anne Tenino- one copy of Frat Boy and Toppy
Melanie Tushmore- one copy of A Bar Tender Tale
Piper Vaughn and MJ O’Shea- winner’s choice of The Luckiest or One Small Thing
Aleksandr Voinov- winner’s choice of his backlist, excluding Dark Soul
Missy Welsh- winner’s choice of her backlist
LA Witt- one ebook copy of Static and one paperback copy of Static
Serena Yates- winner’s choice of her backlist
Josh Lanyon – winner’s choice of backlist
Sean Kennedy – winner’s choice of ebook from backlist
Good luck, everyone!
Well done Becky. I’m glad you had such great support from authorone thing I’ve learned from this site is general awareness that there are people who do not identify as either male or female. Is not really heard of gender fluid until Kris brought it up. Another is to be sensitive of what words you (I) use.
hankts AT internode DOT on DOT net
I’ve learnt a lot from this site but I think the one detail that really stands out to me is the ‘chicks with dicks’ phrase. I’m pretty sure I had used it when describing books until I read the post. Then it clicked that it’s offensive regardless of how it’s being used. And there isn’t a good excuse for that – I didn’t think it through.
There are a lot of nasty, hurtful jokes and phrases in use today, and the argument of ‘oh, but I didn’t mean you, surely you knew that?’ is not helpful. It doesn’t make the joke or remark any less offensive.
Sometimes people make stupid, hurtful comments because they don’t realise that what they’re saying. And each one that learns otherwise and changes is a step forwards.
pointycat@hotmail.co.uk
And what that comment should have included but didn’t is that I’m sorry I’ve used a phrase that is offensive (wasn’t wordpress play up, just me with a headache losing the ability to think straight)
It’s not as much learning as re-learning perhaps, but what I learned is that love is never wrong. No matter who you love or how, love is always right.
I forgot to put in my e-mailadress:(in case I win): anneyste@online.no
I have never heard the “chicks with dicks” phrase before, sometimes the mouth of people works faster than their brain and they say pretty nasty and stupid things, would help if they would think first and speak later
dannyfiredragon@aol.com
Wow, what a great giveaway! I’d say what I learned most is just the right language and words to use from one of your earlier posts. Great site!
Ok, wordpress is yelling at me so I am not sure my first comment worked or not. Here goes again.
What I learned most from this site was basically understanding the different terms and which ones are appropriate when. Does that make sense?
WordPress yelled at me too when I commented last night. I didn’t think it worked so I came back today and found that there were random words missing! My grammar is usually so much better
Yeah, it’s been hinky for me the last couple of days too.
I love the aims of this site. I have learnt that it is so important to lose any misguided preconceptions. It is so easy to hurt without even realising it.
I really like the idea behind this site. I have learnt that it so important to remember that a person is a real person and not a stereotype and needs to be treated with full respect.
What a great giveaway! What I’ve learned is words have power, and sometimes lack of stress and intonation can change the direction of conversation. Being kind to others and aware of word choice is important. Great site and great post!
You’re lucky you’re too far away from me to give you a slap across the back of the head, you cheeky bint.
Great post and giveaway, Becky. Go you.
No one’s ever called me a cheeky bint before. Would have made my night if I hadn’t spent most of the evening hanging out with 5 authors on that list above, and a few more besides!
What have I learnt… A bunch of stuff. What really stuck with me though, is being gender fluid. I never thought about it before, and then I had the opportunity to read it in a book. Made total sense, and I would love to read about ‘gender fluidity’ in other books.
Words can cut just as much as any blade and often cause a much deeper wound. I have always felt that no person has the right to tell another what/how they are suppose to feel. Being a part of this site has shown me more ways to be openminded.
sionedkla@gmail.com
Great giveaway Becky! You rock.
Go Becky, Go Becky!
I think how this site highlights gender fluidity is really important and you are giving me the concepts and words to think and talk about it (Merrian)
Forgot the second part – mezzky.mow@gmail.com
What a fantastic giveaway, and a great post
I’ve learned from this site that I still have much to learn about sex and gender, but I’m getting there.
Forgot to leave my email address – hambelandjemima at yahoo dot co dot uk
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I’ve learned that finding linguistic common ground is complex.
Words have so much power! Thanks for the education and the amazing giveaway!
This blog is a great idea. The whole binary gender thing is a huge peeve for me, and has been for years. It’s great to see it getting talked about. A lot of what I read was already familiar, at least in concept, but I really appreciated the intro post on terminology. I’ve saved that and tucked it away as a reference.
I really liked the links in on the learning more page that really give a lot more information about correctness and resources that I had not seen before. Thanks for compiling all this information in one place and hosting this giveaway!
lets see…I learned that word choice can be very important even if you don’t mean to say what someone hears.
Great giveaway..Thanks
Michelle
Pingback: Stumbling Over Chaos :: Linkity lurches along
I’ve learned about social constructs of gender and sexuality and how they influence our views.
I like learning all the different terms and definitions such as cisgender/cissexual and gender performance. It helped to broaden my understanding of people.
I learned the term demisexual and what it means.
Never heard it used anywhere before.
Whoops, forgot to leave my email.
wildeeper = at = gmail = dot = com
I’ve learned how important ‘safe places’ are and think there should be more of them.
I definitely learned a lot from the Intro post on the blog. Wow! I never knew there were so many different ways to describe gender! I’d never heard the terms intersex or cisgender/cissexual before but I’m very glad I found this site
Anything that keeps me learning and opens my mind, I’m for.
smaccall AT comcast.net
What I’ve learnt from this site is how supportive it is, and how great to see that help is available, wherever you live. Struggling with sexuality is scary and can be isolating, so it’s great to find this site and all you links
Thanks for the giveaway – it’s a really awesome list!
Well, I learned a lot of new words: trans* umbrella, cisgender, androphilia and gynephilia for just a few. I particularly like the use of the asterisk. All very informative.
The prizes look great – thank you for putting this all together for us!
So here is what I learned…love is the best and can’t be wrong no matter who who love!
Yvette
yratpatrol@aol.com
I have learned that DC Juris can touch my heart just as much through a blog as through a book!
Donna
donnafisk@bellsouth.net
I learned so much more than one thing from Embrace The Rainbow.
This site provides so much information for a wide range of people; from the unformed who really WANT to learn more to the informed LQQking to know more.
Your site so easy to navigate & find exactly what you are LQQking for…..then of course that leads to ALL kinds of additional information, resources & correctness that you forget just how long you have been surfing this site…actually until My Lil Pups are doing the “potty dance” lol so their Mommy can let them outside. LOL
Thank you for creating such a Wonderful Site that provides such a Great learning experience for anyone who visits.
I would very much appreciate an opportunity to be considered in your Extremely Generous Giveaway with such Fantastic Authors!!! The M/M Community are the nicest, kindest Group of People, always so Friendly, willing to chat whenever their Fans have a question or comment & so Giving of themselves. Thank You.
Take Care Everyone & Have a Wonderful Weekend,
PaParanormalFan (Renee’ S.)
paranormalromancefan at yahoo dot com
www dot paparanormalfan dot wordpress dot com
It was shocking to read that in New York City, being visibly transgender reduces your chance of getting a job in retail by 42%. If it’s that difficult there, it must be far worse in other places…wow.
ooh~ Thank you so much for this most wonderful contest!!
I’ve always heard that stupid term “chicks with dicks” and I’ve always Hated it. In fanfics and reviews, when someone uses that expression it really just makes me grind my teeth. I am proud to say that I never used it. but sadly, I’ve never told anyone to stop saying it either. I HATE that freaking term and how they use it. So what if a man is more effeminate than another? but I just didn’t wanna argue with anyone so I don’t press the issue. People are going to use it. At least online I can close that tab and find another place/forum–anywhere else, where I won’t encounter that phrase. And now I’ve found such a place here.. I’m really glad that I’ve now come across a lot of other people that feel the same. If not stronger about people saying that. I’m happy to have found a place where I can just kinda hang out and not have to come across derogatory terms.
Judi
arella3173_loveless(at)yahoo(dot)com
I’ve learned about the fluidity of gender after reading the interview of Adrej and seeing Adrej’s modeling pictures. lyraDOTlucky7 (at) gmail dot com
I’ve learned of an interesting blog by Matt Kailey on Trans Etiquette and I was as shocked as Trix to learn than you get less money as a transgendered person.
Oh wow, first, amazing all the contributions for this contest. And I’m so happy I discovered this site. I read the article about ‘chicks with dicks’ and I have to admit, I’m like you, I have seen it used but never really understood the connotation…I do now thanks to this site. You can bet I’m gonna be following this site and checking out the others things posted to see what else I can learn.
katherinehalle (at) yahoo dot com
Love the site still finding my way around you guys did a fab job.
There’s so much information it’s great I hope everyone finds something for them.
So far I have learned that everyone is unique and deserve to be treated as an individual regardless of gender or orientation. It’s such a simple thing. But I do think people forget not in order to be nasty just sometimes people don’t think about their words and action and yet it can hurt someone so much
Sarah S
Sarahs7836(at)gmail(dot)com
It’s a great site and I learned a lot of informative new things. After reading the 10 things not to say to a transgender person, it made me wonder if people are really that insensitive as to ask them, that if they did such and such they would look more female/male? Or after their surgeries?
That just seemed very rude.
Thank you for the giveaway!
Lana
I’m still learning, but here in particular I’ve learnt a bit more about how limiting words can be and how people can be hurt by imposing those limits on them.
Thank you for supplying a safe places link. I knew about The Trevor Project but the others were unknown to me, until now. Each time I visit, I learn more.. and pass that knowledge and this website on to others.
Thank you!
booklover0226 at gmail dot com
I’ve learned some new terms and about a wonderfull book which plays with our gender perception writen by Rhi. I’ve learned something new about Alex, who is a great author, which is what I think is the most important part about his stories.
Just learning about this site and its mission was great! Thanks to JL Merrow for linking to it. I had actually never heard “GLBTQQ” before – just “GLBTQ.” I think it’s awesome – making an inclusive term even more inclusive. But all of the articles here are wonderful, and I will certainly be keeping up with you all!
To be honest, I am still learning.
But the most important thing I’ve learned is about trans* people – for me that was almost like a blank page. I still catch myself thinking the wrong things, but I do catch those thoughts, look at them real closely, so they don’t bother me again, and shoo them out. 
All thanks to Aleks & Co for my awareness. Thank you, guys!
So this started as a giveaway, one thing from this site sounded reasonable but it actually made me look at all things and links and blogs, so I’ve learned quite a lot…
I’ve read a blog post by Alexander Voinov, which I thought was very brave and made me want to hug him. Then I’ve googled Pejic and found some great photos.
I begun wondering about the ‘chicks with dicks’ phrase, didn’t I see a blog named like that…truthfully I didn’t realise it was something offensive, but English is not my first language. All in all I’ve learned a lot, so thank you for raising my awareness with actually a quite clever giveaway, which didn’t only make me type some comment but made me research and learn new thing!
Anzu
we are all the same we just choose to express our love in different ways and it is very wrong to denigrate others for the way they choose to express their love.
Questioning the need to identify or classify the person write the book (that is, man, woman, gay, straight, or whatever) and why I choose which books to read and why is one of the things I am taking away from this site.
This is a great site! There are some very informative posts that help explain different terms, some I knew about, others I had never heard of. Educating others is very important because I know I would never intentionally want to hurt someone by saying the wrong thing about their sexuality. I also like how there is a whole list of different sites for people to check out if they need help or maybe they just want to become better informed or help others.
lkbherring64(at)gmail(dot)com
This site has taught me alot about the power of words and how this power can be .. misused and misunderstood. Words define but people can not and should not be defined.
nasiazgf@hotmail.com
I’ve learned about safe places and was surprised that you can be discriminated in the gay community as a transgendered person.
It’s dificult to find only one new thing I’ve learned because there were many, like where to find infortmation on the topic of transgender and interesting blogs and blogpost. I’ve learned about the importance of safe places and what not to ask a transgendered person.
Hi! I’ve recently discover the site cupoporn.net and thru them I’ve discover this, I dare to say, amazing site that I just read from beginning to end in about 2 hours.
So what did I learned? Well let’s see 1) I learned a lot from that 1st post, I didn’t knew most of the terms and some that I knew I didn’t really got them so thanks for educate me,
2) I’ve never hear or read that “chick with dicks” expression and I’m thankful for that ’cause when I read it on the tittle I thought that was rude, disrespectful, mean and stupid and I don’t really understand how or why people use it, so thank you for explain it and say it shouldn’t be used,
3) I’ve learned that there’s amazing people out there that become that amazing even when everything seamed to be against them and
4) I’ve learn with this post that I only know 4 of the listed authors up there, my excuse? Well I only recently discovered m/m books and I found out I really love it (and all it’s variations), “normal” romance books have become rather boring lately it’s like you’re reading the same thing over and over again just with different characters, oh and that reminds me there’s another thing I’ve learned so
5) I’ve learned that some people are idiots and are more concerned with the gender or sexual orientation of the books author instead of the book content witch really? Who cares? If the book is good you shouldn’t bother with that not to mention that is a bit ridiculous ’cause what does good or bad romance writing helps you find that?
Well this is already way too lengthy so I’m just going to say thanks for this place here and I’m adding it to fav so I’ll be around.
da_ny75(at)yahoo(dot)com
This site has reinforced my understanding that what’s most important is being happy with ourselves and not being constrained by societal needs to define us within certain parameters / labels.
kimberlyFDR@yahoo.com
This site has taught me that what’s most important is how we see ourselves, not the need for society to place labels upon us.
kimberlyFDR@yahoo.com
I learned how offensive the term “chicks with dicks” is and why it’s important to be aware of what your saying and the connotations it can have.
gryvon@gmail.com
DC Juris’ post struck home with me: it’s important to accept others as they see themselves and not on some predetermined identity. Writers who explore the fluidity of gender and identity may help the public to understand this. dave94015 at gmail dot com .
Hope I’m not too late but the thing I’ve learned was a new term: CISGENDER/CISSEXUAL and that I wish would have been surprised to learn about the discrimination in payment but since here women are paid less then their male collegue, I cannot say I’m surprised that people decided to pay even less if you don’t confirm to the traditional gender roles.*sigh*
On a happier note I loved the Blog about trans-etiquette 101, it was witty and made people awere of some blunders to avoid.
This site has shown me that there are a lot of very real and caring people out there. Plus, a fun giveaway to raise awareness is pretty awesome.
HarperKingsley0.0 (at) gmail (dot) com
One thing that I’ve learned is that the phrase “chicks with dicks” is offensive, I’ve seen it used in shelf names on Goodreads but haven’t considered how this actually is insulting.
elayneloste AT gmail DOT com
The people here helped me put personalities and stories to the people I come in contact with out and about. This has allowed me to project a stronger wave of acceptance and comfort as I interact with persons of indeterminate gender. Thank you for sharing part of your stories with me. Best wishes to you all!!
I’ve learned a lot from the author’s posts, especially Alexander Voinov’s and DC Juris were very heartfelt.
As simple as it seems, what this site highlights is something very important to me: that underneath all of our wide-ranging, interesting exteriors, we’re all human inside, with a need to give and receive love.
mcny05@yahoo.com
I’ve learned that there are lots and lots of people of all different backgrounds, sexual orientation and gender identities writing in the romance genre. More specifically m/m romance is not just a straight, cisgender women’s and gay cisgender men’s game. Plus there are lots and lots of of people who do fall into these two groups who are more then willing to be inclusive and supporting.
acosmistmachine AT gmail DOT com
I’ve learned that authors, by and large, do not write with their genitalia or genitals. This was news to me, but I’ve learned to accept it since being informed of this in this blog post: http://embracetherainbow.com/2012/03/24/who-are-the-romance-writers/
I still have a lot to learn.
Seriously, though, I’ve learned a great deal about language (especially across cultural and geographic lines) and sensitivity. Keep up the good work, ya’ll
madamswalt at gmail dot com
This is great! Please include me as well.